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Crash Bandicoot vs. Donkey Kong
Description Crash Bandicoot vs. Donkey Kong! When you trespass on their island homes, prepare for the fight of your life! Introduction Boomstick: If there's one thing you always want to remember when going out into the wild, it's to keep away from an animal's territory, because they are oh-so-possessive. Wiz: Like Crash Bandicoot, the mutant marsupial of N. Sanity Island. Boomstick: And Donkey Kong, the super simian of Donkey Kong Island. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle Crash Bandicoot Wiz: Now, I respect any man of science as much as I respect myself... Boomstick: Barely? Wiz: Shush! But even I have to admit that Neo Cortex may have missed the mark when he decided to appoint a bandicoot as the leader. *Background **Height: 5’0 **Mutated by Dr. Neo Cortex **Adopted by Aku-Aku along with his sister Coco **Skilled driver and problem solver **Conversational status: endangered **Rival of Spyro the Dragon Boomstick: Crash Bandicoot was mutated by Neo Cortex with the Evolvo-Ray into a super-animal with super-animal attributes. What a monster, mutating a super-cute endangered species into a powerful animal soldier! Wiz: But the process of completing Crash's transition into his ultimate soldier couldn't be completely, because, like Boomstick's own attempts to try out for the army, Crash got kicked up for failing the intelligence test. Boomstick: Hey...okay maybe I deserved that. The point is, Crash's tiny mind meant that Cortex couldn't brainwash him, so he dumped him in the ocean where he washed up on the beaches on N. Sane Islands. Naturally pretty miffed, Crash decided to get even with Cortex and rescue his girlfriend from his clutches. *Techniques **Cyclone Spin **Crash Dash **Super Body Slam **Death Tornado **Rocket Jump **Mojo **Norris Roundhouse **Triple Dragon Wiz: And Crash has a number of techniques of his own to help in that process. His signature is the Cyclone Spin for simultaneous offense and defense. His Crash Dash lets him run twice as fast and he can crush enemies under him with the Super Body Slam. Boomstick: And like a furry martial artist, Crash can perform the Norris Roundhouse and the Triple Dragon. Wiz: Crash may be a fighter, but when it comes down it he certainly knows how to wield a weapon or two. *Arsenal and Equipment **Wumpa Fruit **Copter-Pack **Jetpack **Glider **Jet Board **Firefly **Space Motorcycle **Fruit Bazooka **Mech Suit **Aku-Aku Mask Boomstick: He wields a bazooka that shoots out a special ammunition of Wumpa Fruit for long ranged attacks, and has a mech suit for more firepower. If he wants to switch to transportation, he has a number of sweet rides; he has a Copter-Pack, a Glider, and a freaking space motorcycle! Plus, like any good foster father should, Aku-Aku is able to protect Crash from attacks with his presence. Oh, and by the way, Crash as adopted by a living mask, long story. Wiz: With all these skills and equipment, Crash took the fight to Cortex and won, liberating his new island home from his iron grip. And that wouldn't be the last victory Crash earned. *Feats **Took a 2 megaton crash **Threw a boulder with 7 tons of force **Can outrun a polar bear **Stunned a titan with a kick to the face **Climbed up Stormy Ascend **Defeated Dr. Cortez, Dr. N. Gin, Crunch Bandicoot and Uka-Uka Boomstick: He's defeated as many evil scientists as Sonic the Hedgehog has, including an evil mask. And he's always fighting against other animals, like a polar bear, which can run up to 25 MPH, and even against fellow mutants. Wiz: In one such battle, Crash was able to launch a large boulder at his opponent. By calculating its weight of 8 tons and the distance Crash must have launched it, it's a feat that would require 7 tons of force to pull off. Boomstick: Plus, he's super tough, being able to survive a massive spaceship crash that was worth 2 megatons of force! Wiz: But what Crash has in brawn, he lacks in brawn, as we've already discussed. Boomstick: Yeah, it was pretty useful for Crash not to become Cortex's minion, but in a battle, his strategy isn't going to revolutionize anything anytime soon, although he is rather good at problem solving. Wiz: And there's always a reason why the N. Sane Island has been so well-protect for so long, and it's all because of Crash Bandicoot. Donkey Kong Wiz: Everybody knows of the powerful plumber Mario, who's incredible exploits are well renown throughout the Mushroom Kingdom. Battling Bowser, saving Princess Peach... Boomstick: And harassing a giant ape. Wait, is that even heroic? Wiz: Well, this particular ape, Donkey Kong, did kidnap a women, so Mario kind of made the right call to take off after him. But even I admit he may have gone too far by kidnapping him. Boomstick: Knowing that the heat was getting to hot, Donkey Kong decided to move to an isolated island with his son, Donkey Kong Jr. And then he had a son called Donkey Kong Jr. Jr. *Background **Height: 6’1 **The 3rd Donkey Kong **Destined to rule his home island **Determined protector of his banana horde **Greatly expanded his talents over the years **One of Mario's rivals Wiz: Better known as just Donkey Kong. Boomstick: Donkey Kong may not have been the first Donkey Kong, but he was definitely the most notable. Wiz: So notable in fact, that a magical coconut declared that he would become the ruler of his entire island. Boomstick: Hey, that sounds kinda similar to the time I got a message from the other side in my alphabet soup; it was 'OOOOOOOOO' Wiz: Boomstick, those were Spaghetti O's. *Skills and Techniques **Immense strength **Immense durability **Skilled at climbing **Ground Pound **Giant Punch **Roll **Hand Slap **Super Duper Simian Slam **Spinning Kong Boomstick: Oh. Well, time to divert attention away from my embarrassment and towards Donkey Kong's insane abilities. He's strong. I mean, incredibly strong, and he has the durability to back it up, able to survive point blank cannon balls and massive explosions! Wiz: He makes use of these physical abilities with his various techniques, most notably his wound up Giant Punch or his Hand Slap. Boomstick: And like a trick gorilla at the circus, an act I now condone, he can roll forwards to barrel through his enemies. Wiz: He can also charge forward with a multitude of strikes with the Spinning Kong, or flatten enemies underneath him with the Super Duper Simian Slam and strike the ground with Ground Pound, capable of either splitting the earth or stunning nearby foes. *Arsenal **Coconut Cannon **Orange Grenades **Barrels **Invincibility Barrel **Minecart **Rocket Barrel **Bongos Boomstick: And like any ape, he's a skilled tool user, and his tools include the Coconut Cannon and Orange Grenades. I always knew fruit was never meant to be eaten, and now I have proof. Wiz: He's also skilled at using barrels as projectiles, including one that gives him invincibility for a short while. When he wants to switch to land transversal, he can always find a mine cart or a rocket barrel for land and air areas respectively. Boomstick: But above all, his ultimate weapon is a pair of Bongos. By banging these demolishing drums in the correct order, Donkey Kong can unleash waves of sound that can knock away some of the strongest fighters in the Nintendo-verse. *Feats **Survived being blasted into space **Punched the moon from orbit **Swings fists so fast they ignite hydrogen **Fought against the highly skilled Kong Kings **Found all the Crystal Bananas **Defeated King K. Rool, the Tiki Tak Tribe, and the Snowmads Wiz: And Donkey Kong hardly needs to rely on these drums on victory, because he's plenty powerful without them. He's taken on the likes of King K. Rool and the Tiki Tak Tribe, defeated the Kong Kings and survived an explosion that flung him into orbit. Boomstick: But the real showcase of Donkey Kong's might was when he punched the freaking moon out of orbit! Wiz: Although this moon is much smaller than the real world moon, in order to punch it free of it's orbit in the way he did, he would have to deliver a strike of 3000 million tons of force. But Donkey Kong is more brawn than brain, and that has bitten him several times, like how he keeps letting his beloved banana horde get stolen. Boomstick: But who needs brains when you're as powerful as this gorilla? Intermission Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Lets end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle! The Battle Crash Bandicoot walked through the jungle until he noticed his stomach was rumbling. Looking around as he walked, he noticed a large pile of bananas resting within a crater. Leaping down, he reached out to take one of the fruits, when a giant fist thudded into his face, launching him backwards. Sitting groggily back up, Crash shook his head and saw Donkey Kong standing at the top of his banana pile, beating his chest and letting out a roar. Not wanting to miss out on a snack, Crash got back to his feet and prepared for battle. FIGHT! Donkey Kong lunged forward and swiped at Crash Bandicoot, who leapt back before Donkey Kong struck the ground with both fists. Crash Bandicoot closed the distance in a short burst of speed and spun around, striking Kong numerous times in the face. Seething in rage, Donkey Kong lunged at him, yet Crash slid underneath the lunge, causing Donkey Kong to crash headfirst into a tree. Donkey Kong climbed back to his feet, glaring at Crash Bandicoot, and pulled out his Coconut Cannon. Crash’s eyes widened as the gorilla fired off a barrage of coconuts. Crash Bandicoot: Whoa! He ducked under the first barrage, before leaning backwards and avoiding the second, straight before Donkey Kong landed behind him and knocked him into the air with an uppercut; however, Crash Bandicoot was able to right himself and slam down onto Donkey Kong’ head as he fell back to earth, before punching him twice in the gut and leaping to the side of Donkey Kong’ attack. As Crash Bandicoot landed behind him, Donkey Kong drew out his Coconut Shooter and shot him three times, pushing him back several feet. As Donkey Kong fired a fourth coconut, Crash Bandicoot leapt up and used his Norris Roundhouse to knock the coconut back down the barrel of the Coconut Shooter. Donkey Kong looked at his ruined weapon in dismay and threw it aside. Donkey Kong roared and charged after Crash, who leapt onto his Motorcycle to escape from Donkey Kong as fast as he could. However, Donkey Kong leapt off the tops of trees and swung on vines to keep up with Crash. Hearing Donkey Kong’ progress, Crash Bandicoot turned around, and let out a yell of alarm right before Donkey Kong bore down on him with the Super Duper Simian Slam, crashing down onto him. However, the bandicoot activated his Death Tornado, lifting Kong off of him and sending him flying backwards. Standing back up, and dizzy from all the spinning, Kong was unable to react as Crash, using the Rocket Jump, launched himself at Kong and kicked him in the face, landing behind him and repeating the move to hit him in the back of the head. Donkey Kong grounded his teeth in frustration and began to pound the ground, sending large cracks along it, and Crash Bandicoot hurriedly ran around Donkey Kong in his Crash Dash to avoid the hand strikes. As Crash stopped his running, Donkey Kong pulled out an Orange Grenade, but his Ground Pounding had severely weakened the ground, and now it cracked apart, sending Kong tumbling down into the void with a howl of dismay. Crash Bandicoot looked down at his handiwork, breathed out in satisfaction, but as he turned to leave, the Orange Grenade landed in front of him. Crash: Whoa! The Orange Grenade exploded, launching him over and down the abyss. In the underground cavern, Donkey Kong landed in a mine cart that began to move along the tracks due to the motion of him landing in it. As Crash Bandicoot fell into the cavern, he pulled out his Glider and glided alongside the mine cart holding Donkey Kong. Crash flew closer and he and Donkey Kong clashed their fists together, and Crash was knocked off course. Donkey Kong threw Orange Grenades at Crash , who avoided the blasts as he flew and fired fruit from his bazooka at his opponent, covering Donkey Kong in the fruit. Donkey Kong wiped away the fruit, clearing his vision and let out a yell of shock as his mine cart went tumbling down... only for him to fly back up in his Rocket Barrel and slam into the still-gliding Crash. As they fought in the rocket, they didn’t realize that it was heading straight for a platform in the middle of the void. BOOM The rocket crashed into the platform, and when the smoke cleared, Crash and Donkey Kong got groggily back to their feet. They faced each other, both extremely angry. Crash leapt back into his Mech Suit and he and Donkey Kong charged at each other, Donkey’s punches and Crash’s fruit shots smashing against each other’s attacks, shaking the cavern, until Donkey Kong knocked Crash Bandicoot into the air and out of his Mech Suit. Crash was able to realign himself in the air with the Copter-Pack; however, Donkey Kong hurled his own Mech Suit at him, and Crash summoned Aku-Aku in mask form to block the damage. In response, Donkey Kong pulled out his drums to perform his ultimate smash ability, sending sound waves straight at Crash, and his equipped items were annihilated by the sound waves. Crash was sent tumbling back down in front of the line of sight of Donkey Kong, who drew his fist back. Crash: WHOA! Crash Bandicoot let out a final cry before Donkey Kong’ Giant Punch struck him, completely obliterating his body. Donkey Kong pounded his chest and howled in victory. KO! Outcome Boomstick: And just like that, another endangered species is even closer to extinction. Wiz: In spite of how similar Crash and Kong's intelligence and equipment were, Crash was ultimately overwhelmed by Donkey Kong's raw physical abilities. Boomstick: Crash may have hurled a boulder with 7 tons of force, but Donkey Kong once punched the moon out of orbit! Even without going into the numbers, that's way more powerful than anything Crash could pull off. Wiz: Speaking of Crash's power, it's pretty clear that it was nowhere near strong enough to actually hurt Donkey Kong, who survived a blast that launched him into space. Crash may have survived a 2 megaton impact, but that pales in comparison to the kind of strike Donkey Kong can deliver. Boomstick: In terms of speed, Crash may have held this advantage on paper thanks to his greater athleticism, but once again, Kong actually had him beat. Wiz: Crash could outrun a polar bear with top speeds of 40km/h, but Donkey Kong could react to bats, which can fly at 160km/h, four times faster than Crash, and that's without mentioning how Kong can swing his fists so fast he can ignite hydrogen, similar to a meteor's speed. Boomstick: So whilst Kong and Crash were pretty similar in intelligence and equipment, Kong's speed, strength and durability gave him the leg up by a wide margin. It was game over for Crash in this battle of Mortal Kongbat! Wiz: The winner is Donkey Kong. Next Time 3 against 1 Robotic animal soldiers Blade Wolf vs. We3 Trivia *The connection between Crash and Donkey is that they are both animal video game heroes who defend their home islands from threats with help from their families. They both also use various vehicles and weapons and are known for being rather dumb. *This battle would have been in 2D *The original music of this battle would have been called 'Kong Crash', which references both combatants name in an alliterative manner Category:What-If? 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